Why I stopped blogging…until now.

So I haven’t blogged in forever…about 7 months. I used to blog a few times a month! Why the sudden lack of content?

Why the sudden lack of content?

Lack of motivation? Not really. I’ve always got things I want to share, want to think through, and want to explore!

Photo Credit: ntr23 Flickr via Compfight cc

Lack of time? Partially. My final semester of university was crazy busy as I finished 3 heavy courses, subbed as an Educational Assistant, and continued with my coaching and teaching of Sunday School each week. I was pretty busy, but really should have carved out some time to write even just a quick blog!

What else could there be besides those to “excuses”? Well, that’s where the real reason lies. While my semester was super busy, it finished in April, so why no blogging since then? I should have had all sorts of time with no school work to do, with my extra activities winding down, but It really wasn’t why I stopped blogging.

The real reason is that every time I opened my dashboard on my blog, I started to tear up. You see, for the last two years, on the majority of my heartfelt, or poignant blog posts, there has always been one person out there who’s made a wonderful comment, sent out a tweet, or spoken to me personally about the post I created. He was one of my instructors at the university and was just the kindest, most well-read, thought-provoking people I’ve known. He always had the time to chat, to provide an opinion, or to have a laugh with. I loved reading his comments, and he inspired me to write more and to think more every time I spoke with him. Sadly, he passed away very suddenly, the very last week of my semester at the start of April. At a time when I should have been overjoyed about finishing my degree and excitedly preparing for the next steps in my education journey, I was suddenly faced with this great loss in my life that I didn’t even know how to deal with.

From then on, I didn’t feel like writing anything, because every time I opened my blog site the first thing I would see on my dashboard was the last comments he had made on my blog. Every time I even thought about writing a post I would feel sad because I knew he wouldn’t be around to read it or to chat with about what I wrote. I felt kind of lost.

The last few weeks though, I have been more inspired to write. I’ve realized that my blog posts really aren’t about getting tons of people to read them, or even just one specific person to read; they are for me to get my thoughts out and to work through them. I blog to explore new ideas, to work through frustrations, and to ponder heavy things. While I’m still sad that my beloved instructor will not be able to comment on them, it doesn’t mean that I should stop questioning, wondering, and exploring the world of education. In fact, it may mean that I will just have to make a more concerted effort to reach out and explore more!

In just a few weeks I’ll be starting my very first teaching contract, and I am beyond excited. I need to get back into my blogging mode so that I can hopefully keep it up as I teach! I kind of missed the mark during my internship and I really would like to make a solid effort to write about something, anything, each week.

So here we go, I’m climbing back on the blogging train, and getting ready to journey on. I’ve got this!